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Sunday, September 23, 2007
I think the fact that I have almost absolutely no tags on by tagboard is testament to that no one reads my blog.
:D
I find that quite amusing.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 7:39 AM
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wow.
It's september and the last time I posted was... like January? I've forgotten what my blog skin looks like.
BUt it's amazing how time flies... seriously.
And now the exam stress has seem to caught up with us. Somehow when people get concerned with marks, they get self-centred and they start to act... how should I put this? Out of character? I don't know. I'm not judging anyone. But I just, yes alright I am rambling.
So I shall start. This is in reaction to Adele's blog post. Not sure if anyone checks my blog anymore... I sure don't! But anyway, read hers and then you'll understand. In a nutshell, it's about the LA marks and how people think that Paul Tan has been bias to give us 14/15 when we didn't even do anything.
Of course, I'm sorry 407, that you were cheated out of your marks. I think it really was unfair that we got high marks for doing nothing and I really am sorry.
Honestly, I really agree that it was unfair. Really. I mean if I was in anyone else's position, I would be fuming too. But I mean... I don't really want to comment on that. And of course there's that whole thing about Adele's marks and how people think that Paul Tan raised her marks. In other words, it's sort of like doubting our ability/her ability. Maybe subconciously, or maybe that's not the wayyou mean it.
That's not really what I'm concerned with though. Honestly, I couldn't much be bothered about my marks. Ok that's a lie. What I mean is I don't really care whether I get really high and Adele gets really high or I should have gotten lower or higher... I don't know to how explain this. I care about my marks, I do. Who doesn't? But I don't care about them sooo much that... I'm not getting through here.
Point is, I'm just kinda sad about the way this whole thing has turned out. Now it's become this thing about whether Adele deserves the marks she gets.
Honestly? I think it can't be denied that Adele's english is good. Maybe sometimes because we think that a teacher is biased towards her, we tend to become biased against her. It's human nature. But that also doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve what she gets.
I'm not saying taht the teacher isn't bias. He is, and I think that is unfortunately quite obvious. But it doesn't mean that Adele doesn't deserve her marks; that they're not a fair representation of her english abilities.
So from both sides I can see where everyone is coming from, but I can also see that it really isn't very fair to take it out on Adele. There wasn't really anything we could do about it, or anything she could do about it.
It's usually the spreading of something, the fear of the fear, things like that, that makes things worse. It's like the spreading of these rumours, these words, these statements that you don't mean to make feel people bad, but sometimes it happens anyway. And I know that nobody in our class would ever purposely say something to make someone feel bad.
I also know that perhaps I'm not the right person to say this, because I sometimes say things unconciously that just come out wrong and hurt people. I think what I'm really saying is that... to all those who feel angered and cheated about their LA marks, or who feel that Adele's marks are pushed up by Paul Tan, I acknowledge and I understand what makes you feel that way, and I would feel that way too in that situation! But maybe, just try not to judge people so quickly, or make blatant assumptions. Don't attack the wrong people. ATTACK THE TEACHER!! haha ok just kidding.
Honestly, though? The way a bad feeling spreads is when people don't stop it, and we make it bigger ourselves. And it unravels and just gains speed, like a snowball rolling down a hill. It can be the size of a coin when it starts out, but the size of a car when it ends (though that would have to be a rather large hill). And most of the time, it spreads until it becomes an angry feeling based on nothing but anger and it's illogical! Maybe I'm writing out of poitnnow... but I just really hope that this ends here. All this doubt, this mistrust, this anger, this resentment, everything that could cause us to split apart.
--
Maybe I've never told anyone this, but for once in my life, when I came to this class I finally felt that I belonged. I love everyone of you out there, for turning me into a better person (so cliche, but honestly, there's a reason why they are cliche), but for making my life... something that I don't wanna run away from anymore.
I hate the way the exams have turned me into this selfish, self-absorbed person. I would hate it even more, if it turned any one of you into one of those people of which the world is already saturated with.
It's a mark. Seriously. It's one mark (ok I'll concede maybe more) but still. It's a number on the paper, a digit on the computer screen. Which I know is a lot today, in our lives, in our society, but who says we have to follow the way society thinks?
It's just not worth it.
Over a tiny, 1 mm tall, red line.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 9:41 AM
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Back to the oppressive country.
Honestly, I'm getting a bit tired of all this dampening down on free speech- can't say politically incorrect things in case you upset well you know who... B_G BR_TH_R and get thrown into jail.
Most of time we don't really realise that we can't say or do what we want... and I mean come on! They're actually voluntarily banning websites now. With that really crappy safesurf or something. Talk about control!
That's all for now.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 3:12 AM
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
School.
Sucks.
And if I stay on any longer,
I will go mad.
Period.
Fucking, barking, crazy.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 8:24 AM
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Guilt is the mother of all emotions. Negative emotions, that is, although I'm not too sure you can classify and define emotions as being bad or good. I mean, that is the nature of emotions, they bring you down, they lift you up, sending you spinning on another one of those crazy, inane, roller-coaster rides, where at the end you realise how stupid and pathetically wasteful that whole twisty-turny ride was.
Problem is, you just hop right onto the next one.
Sometimes I wish there was some sort of plug- or actually, scratch that. I wish we were just sinks with an open drain- everything falls right through.
Then again, emotions are the prime, the zenith of our lives. Why do anything, without sorrow, or fear, or that nagging worry, or the boastful pride, or the bubbling glee?
It all depends how you look at things right?
Unfortunately, not so easy.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 7:50 AM
Friday, April 20, 2007
Guess I'm ending my blogging drought.
For this time, at least.
It's nice to know, you know, that you're a failure. Even though it's not meant, and even though it's to encourage you (which I am thankful for, don't get me wrong)- you really feel like shit.
It's also nice to know that that means you can never fail again. Which, loosely translated, means this: I can't fail this history test, or the following bio test, or the math test or the chinese exam or my chem sia or my bio sia or my damned SRQ or my IH test (bit late, probably did) or my IH assignment or my math sia or my math ws or
Well. That really put things into perspective. That's a lot of things where I can vrey easily fail in.
No, scratch that. I can't fail, but I also can't just pass.
Whoop, I'm sounding all emo. ANd I hate people who sound emo. Ok not hate, just don't like it. You know it's like sucking a lemon or whatever funny analogies people come up wiht.
Course, what makes it all worse you know, is the fact that this should not be my main worry. That I really shouldn't be nutting over this but instead...
Well, you know.
Which reminds me I really have to stop saying, you know, 'you know'.
haha.
I think I may just have cheered myself up slightly, up a notch, up a ______. (Hey you know, like mad libs.)
It's all about balancing it, right?
Which just for the record? I have no idea how to do.
But skip that first, and really (quite honestly without all the usual sarcasm laced through my cutting speech that sprouts out of my evil spawn me (no that wasn't sarcasm either hey look a bracket in a bracket which reminds me of math but also of that in a frame thing which reminds me that idiot who wrote the curse of lang is really annoying cos he's so confusing which means its ironic because he's smart. Geddit? I don't.)) jia you everyone!
frame
It's going to be a rough week, but hey I think we just might live. :D
Just might squeeze it through.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 6:05 AM
Thursday, February 15, 2007
It's days like these when I feel like my life is falling to pieces...
Sorry I'm just a disappointment.
[ T-ray* ] blogged @ 6:54 AM
